Does anyone remember Live Aid?

Plastic mouse ears and million dollar advertising campaigns, is that what Orlando is all about? 

Down here in the state of the sun like most large metropolitan areas we have a large population of homeless people. We also have a group of volunteers called  Food Not Bombs their mission is clear and simple - end local hunger by simply feeding those who need to be fed. Simple right? not in Orlando where 3 members of the group were arrested for feeding meals to the homeless in a local park.
The problem is simple - The city of Orlando has an ordinance that states that mass feedings can only be held twice a year and a permit must be obtained for more than 25 people fed. Food not bombs handed out over 100 meals, that means more than 100 people were able to eat that day but 3 volunteers got to spend the night in jail for their dedication to their cause.

I understand both sides with the issue of the homeless in parks especially when children are present, at times the homeless can be a nuisance to the public by panhandling and loitering but don't they also have a human right to eat? Is it our social obligation to feed someone that is hungry?
I am not a man who can applaud my merits in life by ignoring those that are less fortunate around me, I can't sit in a restaurant and watch someone outside feed on rubbish. As a home owner and business owner I have dealt with the constant parade of the homeless and like someone here today said "The homeless are like stray cats, once you feed them they never go away."
The local residents of the park used for the feeding do have a valid point, home values in America are plummeting enough already without the swarms of homeless men and women gathering at the end of your driveway, but closing your curtains and calling the police still does not solve the problem of hunger in America, nor does the constant battle of homeless shelters. Ultimately when a homeless shelter is constructed local home or business owners protest as to the closeness of said shelter to ones property.

The issue may never be solved especially down here where we have thousands of millionaires and millions of tourists spending their money in our parks, Florida wants the white washed glossy brochure image that the rest of the world sees but that is not what is behind the curtain. What we don't need are regular people trying to help those less fortunate that most of us being hand cuffed and arrested.
We have too many real criminals in this world, we have an alleged rapist heading the IMF, we have Mexican drug dealers at the border beheading tourists, we have former senators allegedly guilty of campaign fraud to cover up an affair, we have real life pirates off the coast of Somalia not the Disney pirates, the ones who actually will kill you. Savvy...
But what we should not have are volunteers being called criminals for feeding people, time to turn this boat around because I think we are heading in the wrong direction.

Oh yes Live Aid does anyone remember the point of that wee gathering?

The Daily Mail reports on this issue, take a look



Every man, woman and child deserves a meal



A Hairy Situatiuon

I was having a conversation with a crazy person soccer mom last week about how her son's footballing ability and demeanor changed as soon as he hit puberty. According to her the boy became bigger, faster, stronger and more aggressive on the pitch.
My son had a tough season, he was 12 turning 13 playing in the 16 year old division and played with caution and a bit of fear. Understandably when you are still 12 years old and watch your opponents drive up to the match in cars you only dream about having 4 years from now I can see where the slight hesitation comes in, some of the boys were over 6' tall and some had wee moustaches

Now being raised on the frozen and muddy pitches of Dundee and having the moniker of "The bigger they are the harder they fall" drilled into the noggin by age 6, I wanted my boy to go out there and "Gattuso" his way about, show those big lads who is the cock of the walk - age 12 and all.....

His mother and I have noticed the typical changes for a 12-13 year old boy such as.. the deeper voice, his propensity for long showers and his general disposition for most things parental. That being said we are still left wondering that one burning question - is there any growth in the forest? does the onion bag have any scruff? do the dangles have carpeting? or in other words does the boy have any hair on the sack yet?
I have not bathed him since he was a baby and this type of inquiry can send shock waves through the child/parent dynamic. How do I bring the subject up?
Hey son how was school today can you pass the rolls and bye the way do you have hair on your balls yet? 
Not wanting to be one of those ultra overbearing dads, I did the most reasonable thing that came to mind - I asked my wife to find out.......
I got the look - you out there deep in the bounds of holy matrimony know the look. The look can stop a buffalo at twenty paces, skin it and use its hide as a blanket for a man to cover his ass while sleeping on the couch.
The look can soften even the most hardened man (No pun intended). Yes, that look.
So the quest continues to find out if the boy has any growth downtown, all I want is for him to hit that mark so he can push back a wee bit on the pitch. All of this under the guise of football growth not hair growth. 
Bloody football, how I love you so.....
 

No doubt early puberty was the reason! for this noggin

Lights....Cameras.....Action.....

In life it is unfortunate that one bad apple can spoil the bunch.

After 10 long weeks of shooting and over 6000 images taken, edited, printed and matted, our gang of shooters, editors and sellers are damn glad to be finished.  We have a 1 month break until the next event giving us time to recharge not just the batteries but the souls as well.
For some people photography is easy, for others it offers a basic click of the index finger and poof there it is.
For the action sports shooter life is fast and furious, constantly moving with the game shooting angles and positions that the average mom and pop can't get with their cameras. Shooting 6 year old's playing soccer football might just be the hardest thing I have attempted, like shooting a pack of mini hyenas all chasing a ball. Trying to separate individuals for re-sale is bloody impossible.

The last  two weeks of the season we set up a sales booth at the fields to sell our action shots, the feedback was overwhelmingly good and the only complaint we had was that parents wanted more pictures.

We received a call at the shop on Monday from a mother of a boy in the league, she said the she was not at the game on Saturday so her father went with her son and he bought the action shots of his grandson. He was waiting for the match to start and was approached by a father who asked where he got the pictures. "Over there by the massive tent with the signs that say ACTION SHOTS SOLD HERE TODAY!" According to the grandpa the man wandered over to our tent to look at the pictures of his son. A bit later on the grandpa saw the man and asked him if he bought any pictures, the man told the grandpa the the action shots of his boy were very good but instead of buying them he pulled them off to the side and took cell phone pictures of them. The grandpa was well disgusted with the other man but unfortunately he bit his tongue not wanting to start any trouble. Later that night the grandpa was so upset that he called his daughter and told her to pass the story on to us.

well well well..... after standing in the heat and taking action shots of over 600 children from March to May I was furious, my wife was disappointed and my father (Who is one of our shooters) was on the brink of violence (Old school Dundee) We were all there on closing day but the thief was not.....lucky pilferer.
Dad promised me he would not violate this bastard in front of 600 children and I don't know what I would have done to him.

Times are tough I know, we ended up giving away hundreds of dollars worth of product to people who bought just a little and If asked I would have given the thief a discount if needed. This bastard so boldly took from me and my family not some giant corporation. I have 2 kids in this league and I missed most of their games this season so I could be out there shooting action of other children. While my 2 boys played at one end of the complex I was shooting at the other end, I know that this is not  the end of the world and the revenue lost is not life altering but the thought of someone taking from me just paces away from my position irks me to the point of violence..... So here it is, we have about a month before we shoot again and will spend much of that time finding out who you are, then I will give you the real professional action shots gratis, how does that sound? Then you can explain to your son where the other pics came from.
I kind of promise to keep my fists by my side since I need them in a month or so. Good luck thief......I make you no such promise if my father catches you before I do.

Ray, the 70 year old ref can still run all day.

This kid played with boys twice her size but gave away nothing. A future star.

Float Like A Butterfly Sting Like A Bee

Photography, she said.

Karma - 1 year later......

In a word.....BUSY -  that describes the life of Sausage lately, I am not complaining with the economy teetering on the brink it is damn nice to have work and it is even nicer to have work booked for the pending months. The blog has been on a wee hiatus due to the work schedule and as they say you have to make hay while the sun is shining. The following post is from April 2010, 1 year ago when karma came and kicked me in the ass and said  "Be careful what you wish for."
The gang and I have been shooting sports action for the last month and business is good we have tournaments booked for the next few months.
So here we are April 2011 do you remember your New Years resolutions?


They Call Me "Shooter"


Holy shite it's April already, time to re examine those lofty and virginal "NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS" from way back in January.
Mulling the year 2010 and it's promises, the dear Mrs. Sausage and myself pondered the road ahead and made our list of resolutions, desirous of shedding the old us and parading the new and improved sausages for all to see.
Knowing that the standard and eternally boring goals of  "Losing weight" and "Getting into my old football shape" would be arduous and abandoned by March, I decided to aim for something from my heart. I turned to my wife and said "I have been taking photographs since time immemorial, I want to be a real photographer."
I got "The look." Those reading this blog who are married are familiar with "The look." A ball shrinking and ego dissolving glance that can change a man's path in life no matter his muscularity or hardness.
"Photography, she said, is that what you want to do?" 
It was something I have been passionate about for years, only skimming the surface of the hobby and not knowing enough to call myself a photographer. I am the clown at weddings, reunions, family dinners, bairns football games, and everywhere else with the bloody camera. I am the one who has taken all the pictures for my family, I am the one who took the picture of my wife and her brother 6 days before he passed away.
And now I want to take the hobby to the next level.
I discovered blogging last year after a family member started a Scottish travel blog and I decided to follow her. Soon after that I found "Ramblings of the Bearded One" which is Kim Ayres from Scotland, I followed his blog and his photography and was very well impressed, his writing and pics lead me to other blogs and all of that inspired me to start this sausage blog.
Fast forward to late March 2010, a man in his twilight years walked into my business asking for me. His inquiry was simple, "I have a sports photography business for sale and someone mentioned you as a potential buyer."
Holy shit, have the stars aligned or am I dreaming? I already own a sports related business and adding photography would finish the puzzle of what to do for future growth.
I  bought the company, cameras, lenses and all the stock and now I own a photography business.
So looking back to January 1st telling my wife that I wanted to be a photographer seems weird at best. When we make those ridiculous resolutions we never assume that they will actually come to fruition, this one walked through my front door and was presented to me on a silver platter. Be careful what you wish for, it may cause you to work 8 days a week.
Cheers, Sausage Fingers.

Attention HOA - FU

Mr. Sausage, cut the grass, fix the fence, take down that flag. Or else!

  

Does anyone know if the Tardis is available? I might need it to take a wee jaunt back in time.

For those of you reading this that don't know about the Tardis

  then take a look here.

Back in 2006 or as I call it when people had money to spend the better half and I bought a new home in a deed restricted community with a home owners association (HOA) The HOA included many covenants and rules which at the time seemed to be logical and sensible, of course the community was not finished and the covenants were only paper rules without a human to enforce them. Now the community is finished, promises of a gated community, pool, playground and other assorted sales bullshit went out the window with the construction crews and the neighborhood HOA was turned over to actual human residents. 

I don't know about you but I am not the type of person to run for a board position for a HOA, It seems to me that the prototypical HOA board member is a self loathing son of a bitch that was never was invited to prom and is now hell bent on making sure that his/her neighbors grass is not higher that the 3.25" level as stated in covenant rule 4.3/landscaping. 

How I wish I could jump in said Tardis and fly back to 2006 when we closed on this house and calmly get up and walk of the sales presentation, but alas the Tardis is probably busy and I am dealing with the neighborhood version of Attila the Hun. A few months back the HOA sent out letters to the community stating that the border fence is in need of replacement, then went about passing a covenant stating that each homeowner is responsible for maintaining their own section of fence. Well how bloody convenient noticing that just in time for the the homeowners to have to dip into their own pockets and save your fucking HOA a few thousand. Bastards....

Part two of this rant - we had a mother of a storm here the other night and guess who's fence blew down, yup yours truly is one of 3 or 4 homeowners that were back doored by the lovely consideration of the HOA.

Some of the other rules and regulations of the local Gestapo HOA are as follows:

We have a beautiful lake that the kids are not allowed to fish, visit, walk around or even look at, no yard signs or flags, landscape changes to property must be approved by the Landscape Board, basketball hoops are frowned upon and when the neighborhood kids play hide and seek the local police are called in for a "Disturbance"

Down the road in Orlando, Fl. a local HOA tried to enforce one of the saddest and most ridiculous covenants of all time -  get ready for it - here it comes-
CHILDREN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO PLAY OUTSIDE.

Can you believe that? telling little Johnny that he can't ride his bike for fear of the $100 fine for playing outside, sounds like a rule sponsored by X-BOX or the Cartoon Network. I don't abdicate violence here but if approached by a neighborhood Nazi trying to enforce that rule fists would fly and blood would spill. If desirous of a stepfordian lifestyle then be my guest but this average man will never again own a home in a neighborhood with other peoples rules.

America was once the land of the free and the home of the brave but in 2011 do we need to change that to: the land of the restricted and the home of the covenants?  Fly your flags people.......fly your flags.

Here is the story of the local HOA trying to ban kids from playing outside

  

I feel a fine coming!

PS. The benefits of membership - annual payments of about $600 from 75 homes to the HOA. We pay the dues so you fix the damn fence!!!