Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I don't want to say I told you so - but I told you so


I called this last year when the tot sensation received a flash car for his birthday.

Luckily for the female tweeners of the world the accident was minor and the heartthrob will still be able to supply them with his magic brand of awesomeness. Somewhere in the dark bowels of hell Bon Scott raises and angry fist to Mr. Bieber...

The original post was from 2010, check it out below.

A Lamborghini is like a beautiful woman
you don't just get in her and go,
you have to know how to work the gears!

Wee Justin Bieber was spotted behind the wheel of a $200,000 Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder, a gift from P Diddy. Apparently P.Diddy promised the pop phenom a car when he turned 16, but why hand a 16 year old the keys to a car that costs that much?

Why not hand the tyke the keys to a 1986 Buick with a Detroit steel reinforced frame? you know when he crashes it, and he will crash it, that the Buick will break the tree, the same can't be said for the lambo.

To me it's similar to when you loose your virginity, you want a girl who will work with you, you want someone who is comfortable with your fumbling around and searching for the right gear.
You want the Buick!

Bieber driving around in the lambo is like loosing your virginity to a porn star, you just can't get behind the wheel or behind the porn star and take them for a ride, the lamborghini and the porn star are made up of highly advanced machinery, not to be played with by 16 year olds.

Buckle up Bieber, she looks like a wild ride.

Friday, August 26, 2011

"Do what you love and you will never work again."

Sausage Fingers at a young age...

As a youth how many times did you hear the phrase:
 "Do what you love and you will never work again?"
Parents, scholars and general know it alls alike they all pounded this phrase over and over until they were blue in the face with repetition.

Looking back at the fun times of my youth which were spent in female pursuit and constant geo-mapping for liquor stores that did not card, I let the worldly wisdom of said scholarly ones in one ear and out the other.
During the summer of 1986 I never thought of picking up a pen and writing a journal or photographing my surroundings or even learning the DOS system of the commodore 64, I let the fresh education weep out of the noggin because I found the holy grail aka Mr. Pak's international grocery market and Mr. Pak did not card! Nice knowing you brain cells...

Fast forward 25 years and I still exist no thanks to Mr. Pak and his loose grip on the American under age drinking policy. 25 years of working and surviving, every Monday seems to be a tougher slog than the last and how fast the years go by when I think of the summer of '86 and Mr. Pak. I never listened to anyone's advice back then, my plan was to join the Navy and make a career of it but due to an unforeseen medical condition Uncle Sam's Navy sent me packing back to South Florida where I came to find out Mr. Pak had died.
R.I.P. Mr. Pak and thanks for the ice cold Old Milwaukee tall boys....

So here I am the proud father of 2 boys one about to embark on his last year of middle school and me with my 25 years of learned bullshit and knowledge of Van Halen lyrics from their 1984 album all I want to get through his noggin is:
 "Do what you love and you will never work again."

Has anyone ever met karma? if you see her tell her Sausage Fingers says she is a bitch.... 

Between then and now I have many challenges ahead, we have already had The talk of all talks, so that leaves me with teen driving, importance of school work and of course to NEVER EVER step inside a store called -  Mr. Paks international grocery market especially when the sign reads:

Mr. Pak's special buy
Old Milwaukee Tall Boys
30 pack $9.99

30 ice cold tall boys in the Florida summer have a very strong allure for a young lad or lass, my suggestion is stay away and go figure out where you want to be in 25 cliche of me.

I have 25 years of experience under my ever changing belt, 13 of which have been self employed.
Self employment has always seemed to suit me best since me and my Scottish temper are not suited for the corporate world of ass kissing and back stabbing, which is kind of like high school with neck ties and BMW's.  I do not dislike my little company, I harbor no ill will for my jobs and customers and I get to spend every day with my business partner aka Mrs, Sausage. That's right me and the wifey both live and work together, it is 24/7/365...sorry no joke inserted here although sometimes she does make me sit in the corner when I am in one of my "Sausage" moods. What I don't feel for my business is total love, it like many other tasks has become a job and every once in a while I run for the hills at the thought of ever seeing the place again, that feeling usually lasts for a day then it's back to putting food on the table for the family.

So what has the last 25 years of working for large companies, working for small firms, working for assholes and working for myself taught me? obviously the answer is listed in the title of the blog, no need to repeat you all know the answer.
I do hope that my two boys will listen to old dad and conquer the world their own way never having to dread that Sunday night feeling of Monday and the work week looming.

Good luck boys, do yourselves a favor and listen to you father...

I have a question for all of you out there in the world, here goes:

If you could start over what would you do? what job would make you smile every day?
Or do you already have your dream career?
Please leave a comment.
Cheers, Sausage...