Friday, March 25, 2011

Step into the "What If" Machine....

I would like to see him spit at Ray Lewis
Ray Lewis - American soccer player?

Sometimes reality needs to be suspended for a wee while, that's what I am asking you to do now.

The National Football League (NFL) is home to the most popular sport in America, it draws the largest television audience for any American sport and garnishes worldwide attention for the teams and players. The pending discussions or negotiations between the the NFL and the NFL player's association have left the league with the possibility of a lockout for the 2011 season. That being said some of the world's best athletes will have nowhere to showcase their amazing talents come this late summer. In steps Chad Ochocinco......

Chad Ocochinco aka Chad Johnson who is currently a wide receiver with the Cincinnati Bengals has an open tryout with the Major League Soccer (MLS) team in Kansas City know as Sporting Kansas City. Apparently Mr. Johnson has played the beautiful game before but obviously his sporting path was shifted during his youth to the more lucrative and acceptable American sport for men, Mr. Johnson is a world class athlete and does excel in his own field but not having a ball at your feet every day will drastically diminish the skills needed for real football. Mr. Johnson has been known in the NFL as a bit of a joker and media hound, some of his post touchdown celebrations have caused financial penalty to him and his team, this current offering from such a talented man may come off as a media hyped joke, I do hope the regular Kansas City squad players are not tempted to tickle his ankles during practice.

The point of this wee dribble is to suspend reality for a moment and step into the "What if" machine with me. Just imagine if we were able to travel back in time and somehow make soccer Americas most popular and dominant sport. Imagine being able to pick the U.S. National Team from the same crop of athletes that now or have ever played in the NFL, NBA (National Basketball Association) or MLB (Major League Baseball) The options alone are mind blowing the list of world class athletes from these 3 leagues is frightening and awesome at the same time, imagine if you would that the following list of Americans had not picked up a baseball or basketball or even thrown or caught the oval football, just take a minute to let the class sink in.

Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O'Neal, Wilt Chamberlain, LeBron James, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Pete Maravich, Julius Irving, Dwight Howard and many more.

Derek Jeter,  Alex Rodriguez, Cal Ripken, Jr.,  Hank Aaron, Lou Gehrig, Mickey Mantle, Barry Bonds, Ty Cobb, Tedd Williams, Reggie Jackson, Greg Maddux, Randy Johnson and many more.

American Football
Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, Dan Marino, Michael Vick, Reggie Bush, Troy Polomalu, Tom Brady, Walter Payton, Barry Sanders, Ray Lewis, Steve Young, Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Aaron Rodgers and many more.

Alright everyone step outside the "What if" machine and back to reality, the point is that these players have never kicked a football and most have never had any interest in the game. American athletes are drilled to win from childhood, none of the big 3 leagues have anything that resembles a "Draw" so winning at all costs is as American as corporate greed and apple pie. I was just a teenager in South Florida when I heard the term "Second place is the first loser"  I had never heard of such a thing especially playing a game where a hard fought draw could be appreciated, take the 1 point and go home.

If the day ever comes that Americans fully adopt soccer and offer their best athletes to the game then the world better be ready for this
United States of America - World Cup Champions.

As much as I admire the efforts of Americas best player - Landon Donovan, amongst the list of other American athletes he might not even get on the pitch. Donovan himself has even admitted to the fact that the U.S. Men's national team is not made up of the country's best athletes and look at the heights they have achieved in such a short time with so called  "secondary talents."

Back to Mr. Johnson aka Ochocinco, his current choice of employment may be just another publicity stunt, but one that makes the mind say "I wonder what would happen if."....

Here is the link to the article.
Chad Ochocinco begins soccer tryout for Sporting Kansas City - NFL -   

Move over Landon, here comes Ochocinco


Friday, March 11, 2011

Watch out world here comes another one of us, and the world says "Oh shit"

Drink up lad, you will need it.
Watch out world here comes another one, bairn (baby) that is. The news is out that my wee bother Glen and his lovely wife Erin are expecting their first child this year and a hearty congratulations to them both.

Now the gang that is us is a bit on the abnormal side, that is to say that we are a bunch of nutters from top to bottom we are collectively not your average family.  We have a former highland dancer who married a drumming karate champion, they spawned a corporate scrapper named "The Bull" and a complete freak of nature calling himself  "Sausage Fingers." Let's not forget the daddy to be - the only American born into this Scottish, football mad, whisky drinking, you talking to me family - who actually moved back to the homeland. Glen is his name, I guess being born in the U.S. and being called Glen with only 1 "n" drove him batty enough to move to the place where Glen is spelled as such...with 1 "n" I get it you gave in after re-spelling your name for 20 years, I feel your pain brother, I have given up trying to explain the offside rule to your baseball playing compatriots. finished...

Life is a true cycle - an American boy born to Scottish parents moves to Edinburgh marries and American girl, they have a bairn that might be born in Scotland. Now we need your bairn(s) to move to America and have an American child, then that child will move to Scotland on and so on, the cycle continues.

The Nutters - you talkin' to me?

Glen and Erin:
Wishing you both the best of luck and a life without worries, bairns are fun and full of shite  literally,  just wait until they are about 13 and covered with hairy bits and pimples.
Love, Sausage....aka big bro.

A Scottish Blessing:
Gum bi a’ bheatha a’ frasadh ort, a naoinein bhig; an fhallaineachd, an ionracas is an sonas mar thiodhlacan.

In English:
May your life be fruitful, little baby; health, honesty and happiness be your gifts.

Glen & Erin - Edinburgh, Scotland

Photos courtesy of Glen's Facebook, yes I am a hacker.