The following is a result of my whisky coma and bewildered bugs interesting mind.
I was asked to write a dialogue between
Obama, Gandhi, Hitler, Blaze Star and Dita Von Teese
President Obama is standing at the press podium and in front of him are:
Hitler, Gandhi, Blaze Star and Dita Von Teese.
Obama - Welcome ladies and gentlemen I will now take questions from the audience.
Gandhi - Mr President, can you tell me this: does your toilet paper load from the back or the front? this is a question the world needs to know.
Obama - Well ahem, actually the staff loads the toilet paper so whatever they do is fine.
Gandhi - Mr. President you are dodging my question, please give me an answer.
Hitler - Well if four eyes is finished I have a question. Mr. President, you have been in the oval office now for three years, can you tell me this: What is it like? is it awesome? can I shadow you for a day? pleeeeaseee. Hell is so boring and the devil keeps asking for my advice, I will bring snacks.
Obama - Devils food cake?
Hitler - No, deviled eggs.
Blaze - Me next darling, is it hot in here or is it just you, (Starts stripping) Happy Birthday Mr. President...happy birthday to you.
Gandhi - My glasses are fogging up.
Blaze - Mr. President, who do you believe is the better burlesque dancer me or the skank over there?
Dita - Who you callin' skank, I am a performance artist not a stripper.
Hitler - Ladies, ladies, do not fight come back with me to my secret bunker and we can discuss this and have some cyanide err I mean wine, yes lovely wine.
Gandhi - Can I come along?
Hitler - No way buzzkill you could suck the fun out of Christmas.
Obama - Look, I think the both of you ladies are very charming but as a married man I will not comment on which one like better. (Mutters under breath) The red head.
Obama - Ms. Von Teese did you have a question?
Von Teese - 34C-23-33.
Obama - Sorry I don't understand the question?
Von Teese - Starts stripping - you see these are my pole numbers 34C-23-33
Obama - Did you poll well in Iowa?
Von Teese - No silly my stripper pole numbers, I never work in Iowa it's a hard nipple state.
Gandhi - Oh dear my pole is growing in numbers as we speak.
Blaze - Holy pepperoni stick look at the tent that Gandhi is pitching.
Hitler - Now I know why he wears the robe.
Gandhi - Small things come in big packages....no wait it is big things come in small packages.
Obama - Speaking of small packages, Hitler when are you due back in hell?
Hitler - I have a luncheon with Bernie Madoff, Ken Lay from Enron and Kim Kardashian.
Obama - But Kim Kardashian is not dead.
Hitler - Oh I know but after she sold her soul to the devil she has to check in once a month plus I think Bernie has a little crush on her. We are having soup.
Dita - Kim Kardashian, that no talent hack.
Blaze - Reminds me of you.
Obama - Alright everyone time for one last question. Hitler you have your hand up go ahead.
Hitler - Sorry I was practicing my "Hails" for the annual hell day parade but I have one more question. Have you seen the one they call "Hillary" naked?
President Obama wakes up and realizes that this was all a bad dream, he ponders his day ahead. Fight with republicans, battle media pressure, work on re-election......decides to stay in bed.