Voice Not Recognized

I bit the bullet and bought a new smart phone but who determines what is smart and what is not smart?

On said pocket laptop cell phone is an app for voice dialing, simply press the screen on the appropriate place and say what you want the phone to do. The tutorial for this is simple, it shows a young man about 25 casually walking down a busy New York street while walking a wee dog, his phone in one hand while he whispers gently to the electronic bastard "Call Cindy" next thing you see is dear Cindy answering the phone "We still on for tonight?" says the young tech savvy genius while casually strolling down 5th avenue on his way for a frappa cappa cup of  $6 coffee. 

Well if this Manhattan metro sexual can do it so can the Sausage, right? WRONG.

Apparently when the pocket protector crowd were in the midst of making the world a better place they forgot one thing - 

VOICE RECOGNITION FOR SCOTTISH ACCENTS!

I speak gently to my beloved phone "Call Jake" the command beams from my mouth and the satellites buzz with possible actions and return this -"Call the police" WTF? call the police no, I am trying to call my youngest bairn (Jake) while driving and eating at the same time how bloody safe is that. So I try again

softer this time and with a wee bit of southern drawl mixed in for good measure I say the words "Call Jake cell"

The result - Open barcode scanner. Again WTF I am now yelling at my new beloved device "Why would I need a barcode scanner while driving? can I scan the wrapper of the fast food to see how many calories I scarfed between red lights?

That evening I dove in to the tutorial and saw that the available languages on the phone were the usual suspects for a pre loaded device and are apparently based on salad dressing sales - English, Italian, French, Russian, Chinese and so on but no Scottish. No Dundonian or Glaswegian, anyone out there want to join me in the grassroots effort to have a new app available - Voice recognition for Scots? I know at least 5 million people who could use it.

Here is an example of what I am talking about, two Scots stuck in an lift (elevator) trying voice commands.

Peace, Sausage...

Two Scots in an elevator