Friday, January 28, 2011

We all know Dolly Parton for her lovely voice

Before we get started here this post contains breast and breast related material, avert your gaze if offended.
If you are the type who hovers over the pulpit or are one that sits a mere stones throw from that pulpit and vehemently shakes ones head in agreement at the ramblings of that pulpit dweller, then you may want to leave now.
If not then enjoy.





 















Caught ya looking !!!!
what color are their eyes? or  who'd ya rather?








Not to be a connoisseur of the obvious here but men like breasts!
 Any junior ad man will tell you 'Sex sells' and with my opening line and picture I am sure I have your full attention, men please keep both hands on the keyboard at all times.

Breasts are nice, in fact they are downright awesome. They are responsible for our early sustenance and are accountable for the thrusting of many careers, they even got me through 10th grade English.
Thank you Ms. McCulley for the daily testing of your blouses thread count
and for forcing your buttons to maximize their potential.

The problem with breasts is that even when covered with 3 plus layers of wool or flannel men are still trying to get a peek. Now I am in no way at the defense of perverts here, just the counsel for the defendant know as Regular Joe sometimes called by his nick name -
Joe Average.
Now Joe is subverted to many an ad whether it be on the page or the plasma, and in said ads there is usually a hook (Not a hooker) to catch poor Joe and his wandering attention. Many of these hooks are breast heavy lassies with lustful gazes affixed upon their underfed bods calling  poor Joe with a come hither or come on up and see me sometime demeanor.

Like the ad below for fries or chips if on the east side of the Atlantic, Joe must realize that the local fast food vendor will not be dressed as such while Joe readies his order. In fact having been raised in chip shops and fast food joints, never in the history of any cuisine has anyone serving up fried anything looked like the below top heavy model. A complaint to the manager will be forthright.
Hey Joe wanna a fry? then fry in Hell

So when poor old Joe takes a southerly gaze upon a co-worker he is performing a perfunctory duty of all men to take a look at the (Insert favorite breast name here) Not knowing that the advertisements he is the target of are not real.  Silly Joe, Silly Joe. 

So gentlemen, even if the (Insert favorite breast name here) are pushed up and propped out or even adorned with a jewel encrusted bodice, keep your dirty little peepers northward. I know how hard this can be for many a Joe not to let the neck fall down and have a quick and speedy jaunt at the (Insert favorite breast name here) but alas, no matter how fast Joe bobs that simple noggin of his the owner of said (Insert favorite breast name here) will catch Joe in the act and Joe could end up the owner of a red face or even the bad half of a legal document. 

  In case you are wondering how such a nipply topic was raised then let me be the first one on the witness stand.
Your old pal Sausage Fingers was just 'busted' while gauging the sweater puppets
(My favorite and so very naughty name) of a not so amused female.
Yours truly came forward and bled his little heart and soul out to the missus and was forgiven on the fact that the one they call the Sausage is merely a Regular Joe.
One who now wears a neck brace when forced with the exigent task of keeping his eyes up and his morality pure. At least until the next time....

Silly Joe they are not even real




















 Here is further proof the even some of the most talented of our time are Regular Joes.

Even on the red carpet. Bad Stanley, bad Stanley














Ok, we all now this guy to be a perv.





































22 comments:

  1. Boobs are kinda out there so I am sure it's hard not to look. Even women will look at mine (yes they're real). I don't think it's pervy, boobs are nice especially real ones, they're very rare nowadays in this part of the world.

    However, when it comes to my husband, I highly doubt he would come forward like you did. And I would forgive him, but not until I kicked his horny ass first. Tight leash? You betcha!

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  2. nice one saus and I choose the one on the right.

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  3. I don't mind someone taking a quick look. It's the longer look that makes me self conscious.

    Okay, that's long enough. Eyes up here now.

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  4. A quick peek is fine. It's the oggling and leering that creeps me out. Hey, I look at nice looking men and their body parts, so I have no problem with men looking at women's body parts and admiring. As long as that is all it is... ;-)

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  5. Ha! It's refreshing to see honesty and enthousiasm from a man ... Glad to see the missus keeping you in check though ... god knows what might happen otherwise :)

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  6. Chilean - honesty does make for blog or two

    Walt - long time man. I will refrain from answering since my sleeping status is on temporary hold at the moment (Right)

    Goddess - sorry, I was looking at.... your eyes.
    Ponita - keep on peeping on
    Sharon - I am on restriction

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  7. I have a gay (male) friend who is oddly drawn to breasts too.

    My bodily thing is very flat stomachs: so, left.

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  8. Eryl - must be in the genes or jeans? nice choice.
    Cheers...

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  9. i adore breastages! who doesn't? how can you NOT look at a pretty pair? like the other gals, it's the lingering gaze that gets creepy... but i've been busted for looking at a lovely pair on occasion. funny, though. my gentlemen friends usually have no problem with that...

    the one on the left, by the way... higher probability that they are natural...

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  10. As the gals have been saying, I don't mind the peek, but the drawn-out leer makes my head start to buzz with questions for the leer-er...

    Pearl

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  11. I was very disappointed to see that they are not, as I've always assumed, playthings for me but, rather, FOOD! When I saw The Daughter nursing, it kind of took something away.

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  12. Nothing wrong with a wee bit of booby gawking is there? Unless you're gawking at your daughters eh Mr Allen.

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  13. You had me at breasts...no, not a lesbian, just a woman who has very small breasts, and look enviously upon those who are able to fill a B cup.

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  14. your lead up to the story was hilarious! the pair on the right have to be implants. re looking, everybody does. xoxoxo

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  15. I can see, in my little follower window, that you have a new post but when I click on it an error message comes up saying it doesn't exist. So I can only read the first line or two. Bummer!

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  16. nothing like a nice pair o' knockers...

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  17. I love breasts so I found this...um refreshing. But, I can appreciate a womans body. I am a follower now and I chose the one on the left. Good stuff!

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  18. I admire an occasional pair too--and completely forgive a glance that doesn't linger, like the other ladies here. By the way, " sweater puppets" makes me giggle.

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  19. Leah - that's just one of many, a complete blog about their "nicknames" might be fun

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  20. wow, great boobs and you're from dundee. my mother is from that dark rainy place, father glasgow .. big cheers and how's my guest post coming along .. ;)

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  21. An ode to Boobies!! You know I love this!

    You can't really fault people for looking, right?

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  22. I do love me some boobies!!!!

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