Women seem to have been given every proper piece of equipment compared to us men, we collectively have many flaws - The inability to focus on more than one or two things at a time, a strong need to scratch stuff and we all know the asking for directions thing, and on and on.
I say these things because my dear wife and pal Mrs. Sausage has no temperature gauge!! hers was swept in that proverbial waste basket by the grand architect or matrix programmer or whatever you believe. Today in the sunshine state the weather is best described as if the grand architect or matrix programmer or whatever you believe actually is on holiday right here right now.
As a young lad growing up on the pitches of Dundee playing football in shorts in January, then sweltering around the Florida fields in August, I have witnessed the extreme opposites of weather. To me it's no bother because I have a temperature gauge properly installed by the grand architect or matrix programmer or whatever you believe.
Outside my door today is perfection - 76 degrees of warmth with a gentle breeze, the sun bathing our faces in all its glory. So far today Mrs. Sausage has been the following - freezing, warm and now hot. I tried to explain the grand architect, matrix programmer thing and the look I got was - icy with a chance of sleeping on the couch.
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| Found in the bin at the offices of the grand architect, matrix programmer or whatever you believe. |
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| Mrs. Sausage Fingers aka Mama Hot Flash |
It's all to do with anything that starts with 'Men'! As in 'Menapause'! 'Menstruation'! 'Menarecunts'! :¬)
ReplyDeleteOh dear... I know exactly what she's going through! My hot flashes were so bad, I would literally turn red and break out into a profuse sweat umpteen times a day... and night too! Sleep was a rare commodity! Get her to a doc asap and ask for oral mi8cronized progesterone, 300 mg at bed time each night. No estrogen. Is working like a charm for me. No more hot flashes at all!!! Poor girl...
ReplyDeleteMap - I have heard that one recently.
ReplyDeletePonita - Yes the estro is part of the plan, glad it works.
You both have my condolences. :-) Perhaps a margarita is in order? I cures all ills.
ReplyDeletePearl
Pearl - I will make sure a "Rita" is prescribed tonight
ReplyDeleteHey cuz, rest assured its perfectly normal. Us women have more sensitive thermostats than you blokes. Just give her an extra big cuddle and maybe a nice pair of PJ's for Xmas! (only joking, that's a rapid route to divorce!) . I'm currently wearing 5 layers to cope with Scottish November weather!
ReplyDeleteNo, no no! NO estrogen!!! Just the progesterone - new studies show it is much safer and there are fewer side effects if taking the bio-identical type (that's the oral micronized stuff - here it is called Prometrium - down there, I have no idea). Here is the link to the site that did the research.
ReplyDeleteBest to lie low for a bit...!
ReplyDeleteCarole - forecast for Thanksgiving day 81 degrees, mama HF not happy
ReplyDeletePonita - my bad on the estro, mama HF is on the case
oh, see, mister fingers, this woman can't even respond to all of this!!! :) and i'd be worried a bit about that thing of "thin ice" perhaps, if i were you!!! ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm usually cold. haha.
ReplyDelete