Dear Thyroid

You butterfly shaped little bastard, you inch high terrorist that holds me captive in your underactive prison, thanks for being all you can be and quitting on me when I needed you most. You have the morals of a sleazy politician who can't function properly but has a vice like grip on everyone else, you squeeze the life out of me and force me to medicate you like a junkie father who holds court over his rampaged children. If you were a man I would cruch your face, I would cut you and watch you bleed out my overpriced medication while you beg for Mr. Schmidt to help you. Your are the King, I am the people, the revolt is on, watch out here I come.....