Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Apparently There Is A Barrel And It Looks Like We Have Reached The Bottom

The other day I was not feeling to well and decided to take a sick day. After hurling up breakfast I positioned myself on the couch to enjoy Mr. Carey and his delightful games. Anyone who has ever had a lonely sick day at home, and is not Ferris Bueller, knows that game shows are the proper tonic for a speedy recovery.

Once the game shows were finished I coursed the channels for something else to aid in my misery, football has not started so the tube offerings were bleak.
I came accross something that I would not usually watch, especially if others were in the house. This type of programming was not for me, the network geniuses did not have married men in their 40's, at home and sick when this acid trip of a show was conjured up. The premice of this show reminded me of my youth in Ft. Lauderdale, when on spring break my crew and I would try to adapt to the regular behavior of the average college aged male, enough said.
The show in question - JERSEY SHORE.

There was nothing else on so I decided to give it a go and see what all the fuss was about.
Five minutes in I was back at the toilet praying to Lord Ralph, it seems that Snookie, The Situation and Paulie D are the ipecac syrup of broadcast television.
I made it through 2 episodes and could no longer stomach the occular rape so I turned off the TV.
I sat alone at home vomit dangling from the corner of my mouth and realised that this show is the reason that nobody on the planet takes us seriously. I am willing to bet that more people watch this show and know the minutia of every detail of who hooked up with who and what brand of industrial hair gel does this dude use, than voted in local and national elections. I am willing to bet that the cast of this show couldn't pick out Washington D.C. on a map, yet I am sure they are making as much dough as the president.

I don't want to ramble on too much, but remember I was sick and now angry that this diaper filler was on television!
Am I so arrogant to think that in my youth when I was gelled up and hooking up that I was better or smarter than these orange-ish clowns? Hell yes I was. At anytime on the beaches of Fort Lauderdale in 1984 to 1988, if I was asked a randon question I am pretty sure I would not humiliate myself or my ethnic swerve, I think.
I guess this bunch of kids are just young, dumb and looking for a good time, the same thing most of us did at the same age. If a camera crew followed me around 24/7 back in the 80's the 40 somethings of that day would vomit over my generations debocherous antics. At least our tan was from the sun and not a bottle.
Good luck to cast of the show, my advice to you - Save your money, all of it.

I am willing to help fund their condom budget, we don't need any of them preggo. The world is not ready, Yo.


  1. Ah. My son made me watch one of these. We both despaired for the future of the country! But our screens are absolutely SMEARED with this kind of tripe, aren't they? There are a whole lot of poeple out there who believe they're terribly special...


  2. Never seen it. Never will. Looks like quite the chesty show. Just that photo makes my blood pressure rise and makes me want to slap them all repeatedly. I just can't decide whether I'd smack them individually several times each, or if I would line them up and go up and down the line giving them one good whack each time.

    I'll spend the day thinking about just how to do it.