Thursday, January 28, 2010

Take these and don't call me in the morning

Remember the good old days when a proper doctor would actually try to diagnose a health problem with real medical expertise and care. These days it seems the modern docs just want to push the latest and greatest wonder pill and by doing so they can afford to accessorize the beemer or catch up with the country club dues.
Recently I have noticed an increased amount of prescription drug commercials promising everything from relief from depression to pain management and quitting smoking. The comic relief of these modern advertising masterpieces which include sad actors who transform themselves by advert end are the side effects.
How do the drug companies bypass FDA regulations by offering help with a medically neccesary problem and allowing disgusting and dangerous side effects to hide in the medication? Hush money?
Just in case there are slime boot lick corporate lawyers willing to sue me, I have changed the names of the actual medications but the side effects are real and are listed on the drug dealers websites. Here goes.

1. Sixapro for quitting smoking. - side effects listed are - skin rash, hallucinations, aggression, sleep disorder, paranoia, confusion,  suicidal thoughts, mouth blisters. Thoughts - smoke, but smoke a little less.

2. Padfair for fibromyalgia.  -  side effects listed are -  risk of osteoperosis, fever, chills, coughing, eye problems such as glaucoma and cateracts, mouth thrush. Thoughts - try pot and twinkies.

3. Frilicar for asthma/copd. - side effects listed are - life threatening allergic reactions, swelling of the face, mouth, lips and gums, trouble breathing, hives, blisters, suicidal thoughts(website actually lists the following) If you have suicidal thoughts do not stop taking Frilicar, call your doctor. Do not drive, you may feel high. In studies, a specific blood vessel tumor was seen in mice but not rats. The meaning of these findings in humans is not known. Thoughts - It sucks to be a mouse

4. Perplexor for depression - Nausea, weight gain, loss of libido and a host of other sexual dysfunctions, alcohol intolerance, excessive sweating, sleeplesness. Thoughts - these side effects are depressing, back to square one but without the booze.
As a medication taker, I understand that people do thrive on certain meds, I battle my side effect demons daily. It sickens me to see such scientific marvel thrusted forward by corporate greed. Good luck.


  1. I agree 100% Its all a big fucked up corporation. Alternative medicine is sounding better and better.

  2. From one pill popper to another. Cheers.

  3. Dude. there is one advertised on the tv for somethins and one of the side effects is anal bleeding!!! what the f**k
    I agree with glenn alternative is the way to go

  4. Walt, What disease or syndrome could you have that "anal bleeding" would be accecpable as a side effect? Imagine leaving blood puddles when you get up out your chair. The thought of "Man tampons" comes to mind. yuck....