Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Smuggler's Blues - Part 1

Back on the streets again...

The first time I saw illegal drugs was 1984.
I was at a party and a man wearing
a silk suit entered holding a briefcase.
The contents of the briefcase were:
2 bags of cocaine and twenty thousand cash money
It was in Lighthouse Point, Florida.
I was 16.

Needless to say I grew up around Miami in the 1980's where cocaine fell from the sky and square grouper (Marijuana bales) floated in with the tide and every joker with a mullet and a mustang was a drug dealer.
Like the songs says  "It's the lure of easy money it's got a very strong appeal."

Many moons ago my old college roommate and I shifted a few packages here and there, perhaps we watched "Scarface" too many times and harbored youthful dreams of cruising down South Beach in a Ferrari, stick thin model to our right checking her hair in the side mirror as the warm sticky Miami breeze offered no quarter. Luckily for the both of us we were smart enough to realize that the allure of cash heavy pockets and automotive fantasies did not mask the horrors of what happens in prison. Back to class it was for us because what happens in prison is no picnic unless you consider being raped in the shower a picnic...I do not and I left that business behind while Reagan was still in office.

As and adult I am a liberal sort of man and your business is your business as far as I am concerned what you are doing in the privacy of your own home is not my concern, unless you are a pedo or a drug dealer, then I become as conservative as a Texas sheriff married to the leader of a church choir in a border town during an election. Hypocritical? possibly but as a father my thought process is to protect and who out there has the same mindset they did as a kid?

Here lies the situation that landed me on the inside.
New neighbors arrived and they have brought with them a drive up can I take your order type of drug business. Vehicles arriving at all hours, runners coursing the neighborhood on cell phones arranging deals, cash handovers in plain sight. All of this right in front of my face, in my opinion they are the dumbest drug dealers in history, no care or concern as to who is watching or reporting. They are brazen.
A quick search on a local law enforcement site tells me that 3 of the new neighbors have priors for possession and intent to distribute and now they are standing in my yard just feet from my family.

Problem! My kids as well as the other neighborhood kids are front and center and the scum don't care. I have watched the dealings in person and have witnessed the complete and utter disregard for families and children, the safety of my own family is what fuels my disgust of this practice and my past reminds me of the danger and the dark side of the business.

I am thankful for the second amendment to the constitution which gives me the right to not wear sleeves and protect my family at the same time, I like being comfortable it's hot down here.
Part two of this post will tell of how I landed in the big house. Now it's time for a pint or four.
It's good to be home.


  1. WTF did you shoot your neighbor?

  2. WOW! looking forward to part 2, sugar! glad you're home and i HOPE the dealers aren't!! xoxox

  3. Walt - Nope, but I felt like it.

  4. Savannah - Thanks you, it is great to be home and the good news is that the house next door is vacant.

  5. Great times, did you really smuggle drugs and what a great song!

  6. If you're raped in the shower, do they at least play some romantic ballads in the background? Tell you you're pretty? No?

    Where the hell is part 2? Get on it, sir. Welcome HOME.

  7. Lurker - luckilly for me the statute of limitations has expired so here is the honest answer. YUP. Unfortunately I did, but in my defense I was just a lad and quickly realized that that business was not for me.

  8. Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen comes to mind...I wonder if they take requests?
    part 2 coming this week.

  9. Go back to Dundee, SF - there's no drugs on the streets there...

  10. Vacant?! Fuck Yeah!! My Hero.

    Now where is part too, ye wee besim.

  11. there is a time and place to take a stand, and having scum amongst the neighborhood children seems a pretty good place to take that stand.

    glad you're on the outside, and i hope the Missus provided some "soap on a rope" for the time inside the walls. looking forward to "Part 2".

  12. Mike, that's because the last time you were there you must have purchased them all to deal with the kind and warm Dundee customer service.

  13. Daft aka Gill H.
    Yes the good news is they are gone but the bad news is....
    part 2 coming Friday.

  14. daisyfae - good idea that way you don't have to worry about dropping said soap.
    Part 2 Friday.

  15. Map - actually looks bigger from the outside...bit cramped inside they sure could use some feng shui.

  16. And I grumble about noisy hedge cutters!

  17. Help I can't get Part 2!

  18. I've been following your blog for some time thanks to Best Posts of the Week but I've never left a comment, but I think the time has come to tell you that I think you're a gifted writer who really knows how to deliver a story. I'll be tuning in to see how you landed in the Big House. I hope you'll visit me sometime at Chubby Chatterbox where I focus on Art, Humor and nostalgia. If you do, I hope you'll take a moment to press the Join button and I'll return the compliment. Take care, and have a great weekend.

  19. Just got my check for $500.

    Sometimes people don't believe me when I tell them about how much money you can make by taking paid surveys online...

    So I took a video of myself getting paid $500 for participating in paid surveys.