The challenge was offered over eggs as the two lions shared stories of past victories and accomplishments, the young lion spun tales of victories from the previous week and the old lion wove a tale or two of mountains conquered from decades past.
The challenge: 14 year old son versus 43 year old dad at one on one, first to 21.
The battle was set - the young lion in his Nike aerodynamic apparel and $95 basketball shoes fresh with memory of watching Michael Jordan videos on YouTube...
The old lion with his sensible khaki cargo shorts and t-shirt from Target with faded memory of watching Michael Jordan live in Miami Beach back in the day when America had outdoor toilets for drunks aka phone booths...
The two lions faced off ready for battle the young lion nostrils flaring, athletic body coursing with testosterone, ready for war stared down the old lion without care. The old lion careful and reserved kept the use of his testosterone on hold for the knowledge and history of battles won and lost was on his side (and also not knowing how much testosterone he had left.) Game on.
Within a matter of minutes the young lion was ahead, quickly passing the old lion with ease as he smirked and beamed of confidence at his pending victory. The old lion shook off the early attack and evened the score now it was 8-8 and the young lion quickly realized that the old lion still had some fight, time to up the game.
With a flash of khaki and cargo the young lion witnessed the strength and the guile of the old lion as he grabbed the lead 16-14. The young lion ripped off his shirt in a display of petulance and flung it to the ground, the old lion continued to wear his sensible pocket t-shirt from Target but chastised the young lion.
"Hey knucklehead that shirt was $40, pick it up and fold it and put it in the truck."
The score was now 20-20 as the old lions pace had withered the young lion easily caught up. The old lion felt the pain in every step as past wounds flared and knowledge of tomorrow's aches flooded his mind he glanced at the you lion who had yet to break a sweat. The overwhelming desire for a cold beer left the old lion in need of a quick ending, the old lion had the ball and called the young lion to face him. "I have one last move to use on you, are you ready?" The young lion answers sans care "Bring it." The old lion dribbled the ball towards the young offender knowing he would charge full force, as predicted he did and as he closed in on the old lion he simply bounced the ball between the legs of the charging youngling. As the young lion is dismayed and temporarily frozen with shock the old lion takes the rock to the house and ends the battle. 21-20.
Game over.
The old lion had learned that trick many moons ago in a place far far away....
As the old lion consoles the young lion he offers him
the tale that on old friend told him many years ago...
Two lions stood on the hill and overlooked a valley of zebras, the young lion said "Let's run down there fast and eat one of them." The old lion smiled and turned to the young lion and said, "No, let's walk down there and eat them all."In the jungle, the mighty jungle the old and broken lion sleeps well tonight
with a belly full of wine and a few painkillers...
 |
| Son, help me to the truck. |
Enjoy it when it lasts, a few more months and the younger cub will remember this moment but will be that bit wiser.
ReplyDeleteThe wean has already issues another challenge but the old lion has smartly retired as champion.
ReplyDeleteWe all get old I'm afraid......
ReplyDeleteLurker - tell that to the pharmaceutical industry.
ReplyDeleteCheers, Sausage...
Wiser, and craftier.
ReplyDeleteThe old lion has his place (and knows where the good booze is).
Pearl
Pearl - Yup and the old lion sure can clip a coupon or two for target
ReplyDeleteoh, honey, i know that joke... and the version i heard was a little different. but he's only 14. save that one for a few years!
ReplyDeletedaisyfae - Yup....I removed the carnal instincts of the lions and replaced it with their desire to eat....and I mean eat as in fill your belly not "Go downtown." Although at 14 he probably knows enough to fill in the blanks
ReplyDeleteCheers, Sausage...
I thought the saying goes. Two bulls standing on a hilltop; one bull says to the other lets run down there and fuck one of them cows. The other bull says "no, lets WALK down there and fuck ALL those cows".
ReplyDeleteeasy tiger..
DeleteGillian - You are right that was the way I heard it back in the day but that is another lesson for the 14 year old.
ReplyDeletecheers...
Is the old lion not accepting the challenge 'cos he's turning into a chicken?!
ReplyDeleteWhat I wouldn't give for a video of that last bit of maneuvering by the auld one. When I play 10-Year Old Daughter in around-the-world, I find myself throwing the game so she'll win. I shouldn't do that but I can't seem to help myself.
ReplyDeleteMike - Just like the Terrors of Tannadice...the old lion never quits...
ReplyDeleteUB - Different with boys, sometimes I think I should take it easy or let him win but the competitive old dad gene takes over. He is so close to beating me anyway so faking it now would lessen the joy for the lad on that day. I was 16 before I could beat my father in a foot race and that day will live in my head forever.
ReplyDeleteCheers, Sausage...
Another year or two before the young lion whips your arse?!?! It's good to keep them humble right now by beating them... the day comes soon enough when you can't. ;-)
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, I am able to comment on your blog today. Not sure if you made any changes to the comments form, or this is a random thing. The same thing happened at LX's, but I was only able to comment the once. It seems to have something to do with the "subscribe by email" feature. When that is active, I am hooped. We'll see what happens with this after I hit 'publish'. If you don't get another comment by me, it's because I can't!
Ponita - Hmmm not sure but I will turn off that option for the next post.
ReplyDeleteAnother year!!!! If I last that long
This ol' lion ain't never bounced a basketball but is mightily pleased that your ol' lion beat your young'n!
ReplyDeleteHe can be proud to be an 'oldie' and not just an aeolist!
Great post! Coming from your link on Best Posts of the Week. :)
ReplyDeleteNo youngfellas in our house, and I wouldn't stand a chance with the youngest daughter, she's a hoops wiz! (And her team is called Celtics!) :¬)
ReplyDeleteHey, sweet writing! I could see myself there on the sidelines watching the game, sweat pouring down on the 'old lion', and perhaps only a modicum of the same from the 'young lion'.
ReplyDeleteThe victory over your son (great that you can spend time with him) just proves the axiom that experience and guile over enthusiasm wins the day.
Did you require some BenGay that evening or the following morning?
Symdaddy - cheers...
ReplyDeleteMap - haha..I heard there is a basketball team called rangers but they ran out of balls..
ReplyDeleteJeremy - BenGay was applied intavenously along with copious amounts of over the counter pills swallowed down with a jar or two of the good stuff.
ReplyDeleteCheers...