Thursday, July 8, 2010

Shite wrapped in silk is still shite

Introducing the greatest marketing ploy of all time, here is the Vortex Bottle by Miller.

P.T. Barnum must have been spinning in his grave when this crack-whore of an ad campaign came out. Lets see if we can take a very average light beer and over value the product by making grooves in the bottle, the same bottle that will end up in a landfill the next day.
I wonder if the brewmasters vortex bottle fillers at Miller are ashamed every time this farce of a commercial runs, or are they laughing all the way to the bank knowing that all over the U.S. stoned frat boys are giddy while standing in line at the booze shop, just hard with anticipation of getting their paws on a vortex bottle.

I have lived here long enough to know that the taste of Miller Lite has not changed since 1984, that was when I had my first one (Sorry Mum and Dad) but I was thirsty.
I also would not turn one down on a hot day, but I am not daft enough to believe that the Vortex bottle somehow alters the taste by allowing the "Greatness" to flow out faster. I say BULLSHIT all the way.

Here is an example of great American beer, it has not changed since 1983, that was when I had my first six pack (Sorry Mum and Dad) I was bored and thirsty.
The Old Dog - Old Milwaukee, like the man said "It doesn't get any better than this"


  1. I like Miller, in a pint glass, from a tap, in a good bar.

    I bought some Fosters (Australian) lager 2 weeks ago. Most of it is still in the beer fridge. Nothing spends 2 weeks in my beer fridge! That's how bad it is.

  2. 2 weeks in the beer fridge!!! must be shite I would suggest that the 'roos try a new bottle design, how about a koala shape whirlwind ergomatic 3000 model. Good on ya mate.

  3. Ah this post made me smile, i prefer the old Milwaukee's Best, only 1.99 for a six pack of cans when i was growing up and you are spot on with that vortex bottle shite, personally i like the old Miller High Life also known as the Champagne of Beers and my Scottish blood does yearn for a wee bit of the single malt know and then...