I am telling Gordon Ramsay on you

Ana Maria Island on the west coast of Florida was my home for the last week, the gang and I took a wee break to recharge the batteries and soak up some west coast sun(It's a different sun from the east coast)
I always ask a local about where to eat usually bypassing the ads and brochures strategically placed to lure hungry tourists. One of the restaurants recommended was Mr. Bones BBQ, a kitschy little hole in the wall with good food and laid back atmosphere. It sounded like my type of place where anything goes and the fare was made up by a stoner during a flashback.
So off to Mr. Bones we went, bellies grumbling and cash in hand. We liked the little shack where you pick your own beer from an ice filled coffin, good start I thought. The menu was more complex that I had imagined with geographical musings from all over the globe- BBQ, Tex-Mex, Mongolian, Indian, New Orleans, Greek, Philadelphia, Congo and Mandarin. The only food item not on the complicated menu was: local? Located in the southern gulf I expected some local fish, shrimp, scallops, anything!
Now here is the plot to this wee story, the place was littered with signs stating "DON'T EVEN ASK" the staff paraded around with t-shirts ablazed with "DON'T EVEN ASK" another sign stated "Our food is expertly prepared by New Orleans trained chefs, no condiments needed, so don't even ask."
Big balls is what you need to make a statement like that, you are asking every patron that walks in the door to take it or leave it, so stand and you will now be judged by your grub.
It was shite......... BBQ spare ribs so dry I could have used them for kindling, curried rice from a frozen package and rubbery buffalo wings. I was begging for some sauce and salt, please allow me to alter the taste of this rubbish so that it is at least palatable.
I am no food critic and I don't even like the idea of trashing someones business, but if you have the arrogance to post signs like these then you better back your product with quality. I spent 80 of my hard earned dollars, I suggest you take my money and buy some salt and pepper and don't forget the damn sauce...
Gordon would not be amused, bollocks he would say.....