This is an old post from last year while I battle a head cold.
Whisky bottle here I come.
History has shown that two opposing views can be educational and entertaining, take for example-
the ALLIES v the AXIS, ALI v FRAZIER, GOD v SATAN, SCOTLAND v ENGLAND (Also know as good v evil) and lets not forget about KANYE WEST v EVERYONE WHO IS NOT KANYE WEST.
A good old fight between 2 different camps can rouse the blood and emote the flames of passion.
The other day my wife noticed me watching and old BBC show from way back in 70's, she commented on the poor quality of the broadcast and lack of graphics in the program, my response was "That's the way our old TV shows were back in those days, at least our shows were better than the crap you grew up watching."
Ding Ding Ding - In this corner we have the challenger from USA - Mrs. Sausage Fingers
and in this corner we have the champion from the UK - Mr. Sausage Fingers.
The fight - British TV shows from the 70's v American TV shows from the 70's.
Let's get it on. Ding Ding Ding.
Right out her corner she hits me with The Walton's, I jab back with Dad's Army and throw a Steptoe and Son at her, she hits me in the face with Sanford and Son. The fight is even and I bolt out of the corner fresh with memories of Benny Hill and Black Adder, she is stunned and temporarily blinded but busts back with The Love Boat and Fantasy Island. I am caught of guard with these two and while I am starting to see stars she throws a flurry of blows with Happy Days, The Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman. I am down, the wind sucked out of me like an airplane door suddenly opened mid flight.
I make it to my feet ready to strike, she immediately throws jabs with The Brady Bunch, Mork and Mindy and Charlies Angels. Again I wobble, but charge back with classic bombs of The Two Ronnie's and Morecambe and Wise, then a left hook of Are You Being Served, my attack is working, she is slowly backing away. I decide to go for the knockout with pugilistic intent with Worzell Gummige and TISWAS, then spray her with Some Mothers Do 'Ave Em. Clearly she is going down, so to make sure of my victory I throw a hay maker of Last of the Summer Wine. She is down but not out, she steadies herself and makes me pay with a barrage of Three's Company, The Andy Griffith Show and Gilligan's Island. I counter with Dr. Who, she stops and asks "What is Dr. Who?" "What, I say, you don't know who Dr. Who is?" I drop my gloves and guard puzzled by her petulant comment, she notices my open stance and fires a six pack of body blows with M*A*S*H, The Rockford Files, Wonder Woman, CHIPS, The Dukes of Hazzard and the Incredible Hulk. I am standing on pride alone and throw out my last weapon, my knockout punch here goes nothing as I swing for the fences. Boom, how about Fawlty Towers, she painfully absorbs the blow and lobs her own cannon back, "Don't forget Dallas." Ding Ding Ding, the fight is over, it's in the judges hands now.
The scorecard reads - We have a split decision and the winner is.......