Photography, she said.

Karma - 1 year later......

In a word.....BUSY -  that describes the life of Sausage lately, I am not complaining with the economy teetering on the brink it is damn nice to have work and it is even nicer to have work booked for the pending months. The blog has been on a wee hiatus due to the work schedule and as they say you have to make hay while the sun is shining. The following post is from April 2010, 1 year ago when karma came and kicked me in the ass and said  "Be careful what you wish for."
The gang and I have been shooting sports action for the last month and business is good we have tournaments booked for the next few months.
So here we are April 2011 do you remember your New Years resolutions?


They Call Me "Shooter"


Holy shite it's April already, time to re examine those lofty and virginal "NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS" from way back in January.
Mulling the year 2010 and it's promises, the dear Mrs. Sausage and myself pondered the road ahead and made our list of resolutions, desirous of shedding the old us and parading the new and improved sausages for all to see.
Knowing that the standard and eternally boring goals of  "Losing weight" and "Getting into my old football shape" would be arduous and abandoned by March, I decided to aim for something from my heart. I turned to my wife and said "I have been taking photographs since time immemorial, I want to be a real photographer."
I got "The look." Those reading this blog who are married are familiar with "The look." A ball shrinking and ego dissolving glance that can change a man's path in life no matter his muscularity or hardness.
"Photography, she said, is that what you want to do?" 
It was something I have been passionate about for years, only skimming the surface of the hobby and not knowing enough to call myself a photographer. I am the clown at weddings, reunions, family dinners, bairns football games, and everywhere else with the bloody camera. I am the one who has taken all the pictures for my family, I am the one who took the picture of my wife and her brother 6 days before he passed away.
And now I want to take the hobby to the next level.
I discovered blogging last year after a family member started a Scottish travel blog and I decided to follow her. Soon after that I found "Ramblings of the Bearded One" which is Kim Ayres from Scotland, I followed his blog and his photography and was very well impressed, his writing and pics lead me to other blogs and all of that inspired me to start this sausage blog.
Fast forward to late March 2010, a man in his twilight years walked into my business asking for me. His inquiry was simple, "I have a sports photography business for sale and someone mentioned you as a potential buyer."
Holy shit, have the stars aligned or am I dreaming? I already own a sports related business and adding photography would finish the puzzle of what to do for future growth.
I  bought the company, cameras, lenses and all the stock and now I own a photography business.
So looking back to January 1st telling my wife that I wanted to be a photographer seems weird at best. When we make those ridiculous resolutions we never assume that they will actually come to fruition, this one walked through my front door and was presented to me on a silver platter. Be careful what you wish for, it may cause you to work 8 days a week.
Cheers, Sausage Fingers.

Attention HOA - FU

Mr. Sausage, cut the grass, fix the fence, take down that flag. Or else!

  

Does anyone know if the Tardis is available? I might need it to take a wee jaunt back in time.

For those of you reading this that don't know about the Tardis

  then take a look here.

Back in 2006 or as I call it when people had money to spend the better half and I bought a new home in a deed restricted community with a home owners association (HOA) The HOA included many covenants and rules which at the time seemed to be logical and sensible, of course the community was not finished and the covenants were only paper rules without a human to enforce them. Now the community is finished, promises of a gated community, pool, playground and other assorted sales bullshit went out the window with the construction crews and the neighborhood HOA was turned over to actual human residents. 

I don't know about you but I am not the type of person to run for a board position for a HOA, It seems to me that the prototypical HOA board member is a self loathing son of a bitch that was never was invited to prom and is now hell bent on making sure that his/her neighbors grass is not higher that the 3.25" level as stated in covenant rule 4.3/landscaping. 

How I wish I could jump in said Tardis and fly back to 2006 when we closed on this house and calmly get up and walk of the sales presentation, but alas the Tardis is probably busy and I am dealing with the neighborhood version of Attila the Hun. A few months back the HOA sent out letters to the community stating that the border fence is in need of replacement, then went about passing a covenant stating that each homeowner is responsible for maintaining their own section of fence. Well how bloody convenient noticing that just in time for the the homeowners to have to dip into their own pockets and save your fucking HOA a few thousand. Bastards....

Part two of this rant - we had a mother of a storm here the other night and guess who's fence blew down, yup yours truly is one of 3 or 4 homeowners that were back doored by the lovely consideration of the HOA.

Some of the other rules and regulations of the local Gestapo HOA are as follows:

We have a beautiful lake that the kids are not allowed to fish, visit, walk around or even look at, no yard signs or flags, landscape changes to property must be approved by the Landscape Board, basketball hoops are frowned upon and when the neighborhood kids play hide and seek the local police are called in for a "Disturbance"

Down the road in Orlando, Fl. a local HOA tried to enforce one of the saddest and most ridiculous covenants of all time -  get ready for it - here it comes-
CHILDREN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO PLAY OUTSIDE.

Can you believe that? telling little Johnny that he can't ride his bike for fear of the $100 fine for playing outside, sounds like a rule sponsored by X-BOX or the Cartoon Network. I don't abdicate violence here but if approached by a neighborhood Nazi trying to enforce that rule fists would fly and blood would spill. If desirous of a stepfordian lifestyle then be my guest but this average man will never again own a home in a neighborhood with other peoples rules.

America was once the land of the free and the home of the brave but in 2011 do we need to change that to: the land of the restricted and the home of the covenants?  Fly your flags people.......fly your flags.

Here is the story of the local HOA trying to ban kids from playing outside

  

I feel a fine coming!

PS. The benefits of membership - annual payments of about $600 from 75 homes to the HOA. We pay the dues so you fix the damn fence!!!

Random Photos of the Week

Camera Card Clean Up

I started cleaning off the camera cards and found some random shots that I forgot I had, there is no rhyme of reason here just a group of pics from around Flagler and St. Augustine Florida.

Like two snipers facing off


 

               

Who needs an alarm system?

Waiting for Mr. Capone

A real tree hugger

Love on the rocks

Yes, it's cool to be a cat

At least it has a pool

Dive board included

Eyesore or floating art?

Thirsty?

Note to self: how to pick up chicks at 70 years old

Not even an appetizer

Got peanut butter?

The Cousteau boys on holiday

Step into the "What If" Machine....

I would like to see him spit at Ray Lewis

Ray Lewis - American soccer player?

Sometimes reality needs to be suspended for a wee while, that's what I am asking you to do now.


The National Football League (NFL) is home to the most popular sport in America, it draws the largest television audience for any American sport and garnishes worldwide attention for the teams and players. The pending discussions or negotiations between the the NFL and the NFL player's association have left the league with the possibility of a lockout for the 2011 season. That being said some of the world's best athletes will have nowhere to showcase their amazing talents come this late summer. In steps Chad Ochocinco......


Chad Ocochinco aka Chad Johnson who is currently a wide receiver with the Cincinnati Bengals has an open tryout with the Major League Soccer (MLS) team in Kansas City know as Sporting Kansas City. Apparently Mr. Johnson has played the beautiful game before but obviously his sporting path was shifted during his youth to the more lucrative and acceptable American sport for men, Mr. Johnson is a world class athlete and does excel in his own field but not having a ball at your feet every day will drastically diminish the skills needed for real football. Mr. Johnson has been known in the NFL as a bit of a joker and media hound, some of his post touchdown celebrations have caused financial penalty to him and his team, this current offering from such a talented man may come off as a media hyped joke, I do hope the regular Kansas City squad players are not tempted to tickle his ankles during practice.


The point of this wee dribble is to suspend reality for a moment and step into the "What if" machine with me. Just imagine if we were able to travel back in time and somehow make soccer Americas most popular and dominant sport. Imagine being able to pick the U.S. National Team from the same crop of athletes that now or have ever played in the NFL, NBA (National Basketball Association) or MLB (Major League Baseball) The options alone are mind blowing the list of world class athletes from these 3 leagues is frightening and awesome at the same time, imagine if you would that the following list of Americans had not picked up a baseball or basketball or even thrown or caught the oval football, just take a minute to let the class sink in.

Basketball
Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O'Neal, Wilt Chamberlain, LeBron James, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Pete Maravich, Julius Irving, Dwight Howard and many more.


Baseball
Derek Jeter,  Alex Rodriguez, Cal Ripken, Jr.,  Hank Aaron, Lou Gehrig, Mickey Mantle, Barry Bonds, Ty Cobb, Tedd Williams, Reggie Jackson, Greg Maddux, Randy Johnson and many more.


American Football
Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, Dan Marino, Michael Vick, Reggie Bush, Troy Polomalu, Tom Brady, Walter Payton, Barry Sanders, Ray Lewis, Steve Young, Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Aaron Rodgers and many more.

Alright everyone step outside the "What if" machine and back to reality, the point is that these players have never kicked a football and most have never had any interest in the game. American athletes are drilled to win from childhood, none of the big 3 leagues have anything that resembles a "Draw" so winning at all costs is as American as corporate greed and apple pie. I was just a teenager in South Florida when I heard the term "Second place is the first loser"  I had never heard of such a thing especially playing a game where a hard fought draw could be appreciated, take the 1 point and go home.


If the day ever comes that Americans fully adopt soccer and offer their best athletes to the game then the world better be ready for this
United States of America - World Cup Champions.


As much as I admire the efforts of Americas best player - Landon Donovan, amongst the list of other American athletes he might not even get on the pitch. Donovan himself has even admitted to the fact that the U.S. Men's national team is not made up of the country's best athletes and look at the heights they have achieved in such a short time with so called  "secondary talents."


Back to Mr. Johnson aka Ochocinco, his current choice of employment may be just another publicity stunt, but one that makes the mind say "I wonder what would happen if."....

Here is the link to the article.
Chad Ochocinco begins soccer tryout for Sporting Kansas City - NFL - SI.com   

Move over Landon, here comes Ochocinco

                                                                                            

Watch out world here comes another one of us, and the world says "Oh shit"

Drink up lad, you will need it.

 

Watch out world here comes another one, bairn (baby) that is. The news is out that my wee bother Glen and his lovely wife Erin are expecting their first child this year and a hearty congratulations to them both.

Now the gang that is us is a bit on the abnormal side, that is to say that we are a bunch of nutters from top to bottom we are collectively not your average family.  We have a former highland dancer who married a drumming karate champion, they spawned a corporate scrapper named "The Bull" and a complete freak of nature calling himself  "Sausage Fingers." Let's not forget the daddy to be - the only American born into this Scottish, football mad, whisky drinking, you talking to me family - who actually moved back to the homeland. Glen is his name, I guess being born in the U.S. and being called Glen with only 1 "n" drove him batty enough to move to the place where Glen is spelled as such...with 1 "n" I get it you gave in after re-spelling your name for 20 years, I feel your pain brother, I have given up trying to explain the offside rule to your baseball playing compatriots. finished...

Life is a true cycle - an American boy born to Scottish parents moves to Edinburgh marries and American girl, they have a bairn that might be born in Scotland. Now we need your bairn(s) to move to America and have an American child, then that child will move to Scotland and.......so on and so on, the cycle continues.

 

The Nutters - you talkin' to me?

Glen and Erin:

Wishing you both the best of luck and a life without worries, bairns are fun and full of shite  literally,  just wait until they are about 13 and covered with hairy bits and pimples.

Love, Sausage....aka big bro.

A Scottish Blessing:
Gum bi a’ bheatha a’ frasadh ort, a naoinein bhig; an fhallaineachd, an ionracas is an sonas mar thiodhlacan.

In English:
May your life be fruitful, little baby; health, honesty and happiness be your gifts.

Glen & Erin - Edinburgh, Scotland

Photos courtesy of Glen's Facebook, yes I am a hacker.