Sunday, February 7, 2010

Boys will be boys

My two boys are very typical modern children, they both enjoy the comforts of technical delights afforded them by the previous generaration's dedication to dot the heavens with satellites.
I am talking of course of the mandatory implements of lethargy known as X-box 360, Nintendo Playstation, Nintendo DSI, and of course cell phones with enough texting to keep the satellites spinning for years to come.
As of late last year the boys and their neighborhood gang have found a wooded area and have been busy in the childhood delight of building a fort.
This building project has been a laborious task and has kept all the boys away from their aforementioned distractions.
This afternoon I received a frantic call from "The woods",  it was my youngest boy and his teary-eyed voice pulled me off the couch faster than a teenage text message. 3 hours later we are home from the emergency room, the wee man had broken his arm after falling out of a tree.
So after all the video games and other technological advances boys still like to climb and fall out of trees, there is hope for humanity yet.
At least the cell phones have a practical use when used for something other than texting.
Boys will be boys.

Our brave wee soldier.
The world's best medicine - an ice cream cone

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Dearly beloved we are gathered here to drink whisky and laugh at Sausage Fingers

I hate funerals they are bloody sad, I would like the following at my funeral. Thank you.

1. My wife and children are to be given a standing ovation for their hard work and dedication.
2. An ice cream truck with free treats for everyone.
3. An open bar. (I'll start saving now)
4. Bagpipes, bagpipes and more bagpies. I want bagpipes.
5. A whisky tasting with  mandatory haggis luncheon.
6. A video montage of Archie Gemmil's goal against Holland 1978. (I shiver everytime I see it)
7. Everyone in attendance to sing - Alcohol by - Gogol Bordello. (Link attached below)
8. Catholics, Protestants, Blacks, Whites, Jews, Muslims, Liberals, Conservatives and Aliens. All are welcome, please have a whisky and enjoy yourself.
9. Please bury me anywhere in Scotland, or scatter my ashes over Tannadice or Hampden Park

 Mr. Schmidt will be there to make sure I am dirt bound, on to the next tortured soul. Good riddance asshole.
Cheers, Sausage

Bitch Slapped

1 month and almost 1 week.
The amount of time this year since Schmidt's Syndrome has affected me.
Today sucked.
The Schmidt's was aweful, it drained the life out of the day, an important day.
Mr. Schmidt smashed my desire and laughed at my plans.
Only this evenings single malt can quiet his voice and mask my pain.
Cheers Mr. Schmidt, today you beat me.


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Jekyll Island

Today I had some business in Georgia at a place called Jekyll Island. This is about 1 hour north of the Florida border but the island reminded me of Scotland except the palm trees of course. The flora and fauna seemed so different so I had to take a few pictures before leaving.